We're back suckas! We know you missed our shining faces and our adorable snark so here it goes again...We promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.  As future members of the DC Lawyers Assistance Program, we are proud to present a bi-weekly run-down of DC hotspots. After a 3-month summer hiatus, we are excited to be back to our usual bar hopping shenanigans.   This week we're doing something a little different...we keep suggesting that you hit up certain bars, but we haven't yet given you the tools to ensure a successful night.  Here are the top 20 law school related pickup lines to make sure you never go home empty handed from a Bar Review (disclaimer...these will likely NOT work).

Before getting into this review, we'd like to introduce ourselves to the new batch of 1Ls at GW Law (everyone else, you, unfortunately, know us by now). Set is a recent graduate of GW undergrad (no she did not wear tights, an oversized white t-shirt, big black sunglasses, or carry a $5K bag...) and DC's very own former bar wench.  You will likely meet her soon as she will probably harass you at Bar Review, which she is now partially in charge of organizing (suggestions welcome!).  Lisa, a Chicago/Philadelphia-import, is thrilled to be able to use her newest batch of loan money to buy drinks, not books.

The Tools

1. I want to adversely possess your body tonight.

2. Are you in section 69?

3. I'd like to illegally search and seize your body tonight.

4. See me and you in bed later.

5. Let's make an oral agreement tonight.

6. You have personal jurisdiction over my heart.

7. Want to receive some non-taxable fringe benefits tonight?

8. Man, you're an attractive nuisance.

9. You're really good at blue...booking.

10. I'm your get out jail free card.

11. You're in law school? Would you like to see my briefs?

12. Don't worry, you won't be trespassing tonight because you have a right of entry.

13. Let's make minimum contacts tonight.

14. Can I enter your stream of commerce?

15. I'll be the principal and you can be my agent.

16. Let's turn my mens rea into an actus reus.

17. If you'll be my mistress, we can get around the tax code.

18. Forget our minds, let's have a meeting of our bodies.

19. I'll show you my executive branch.

20. Are you DTF? (We know this isn't law school related but one of us actually got asked this at last year's Halloween party)

Did you try these lines out successfully?  Or get slapped in the face?  If so, please email us at gwbarbrief@gmail.com.