I have a crush on Natalie Timmers, the Lexis-lady - she's really pretty.  Would it be inappropriate to ask her out to the Barrister's Ball?  Also, would it be tacky if I give her a present that I bought with Westlaw points?

Yours truly,

Pining Away in the Uptowner

Dear Pining,

While Natalie would love to party with drunk lawyers and law students, the invite to Barrister's would have to be for two: one for her, and one for her fabulous lawyer boyfriend.   "As to gifts purchased with Westlaw points, as long as it's not a Westlaw laptop bag or cooler, I'll [Natalie] take it!!!"

So, Pining my friend, it looks like you'll have to look for your date to the auspicious event elsewhere.  Try looking around amongst your fellow students.  There are many eligible women in the law school who would love to be asked.  May I cite as an example -  oh, say,  I don't know -  an awesomely single Korean-Canadian 2L who enjoys champagne brunches and long walks by the monuments, and who already has a lovely navy silk dress, yet STILL no date to the Ball?

You know where to find her.

Sincerely,

Yunji