I really like my classes and friends here at law school. But there's this one person I can't stand.   I am sure this person's really nice once you have a conversation. Still, whenever this person speaks up in class or shows up at Bar Review, I just want to hurl.  What should I do?

Yours truly,

Nettled in Negotiations

Dear Nettled,

I know just how you feel.  I am always amazed how a complete stranger can provoke an irritation that actually borders on ire.  This happens to me a lot at the GWU swimming pool.  Everything will be cool, placid, and perfect - until the entrance of Speedo Man.  Speedo Man is never a cute and athletic boy.  No, he is always an overweight middle-aged man who likes to walk through the swimming lanes.  The only way to treat your aggravation in these situations is to just look away.

However, I understand that just looking away can be difficult in law school.   For better or worse (usually for the better), your friends and colleagues are constantly around you.  You see them in class, in the lounges at breaks, and in the bars during the weekends.   You can always turn your head and pretend that Speedo Man's lane doesn't exist.  But it's difficult to imagine away the entire space of L201 or the Soft Lounge.

What you really need to do is to start appreciating this person.  There's a point in the novel, Of Human Bondage, when an uncle asks the book's hero what he learned during his short stint as an artist in Paris.  One of the hero's answers is that he learned how to appreciate the shadow of things along with their light.  I think that's worthwhile lesson for law students also.

Don't think of this person as a mere aggravation.  Try to see this person more as the douchey shadow that texturizes the rest of your law school experience.  Who else would make you appreciate your friends more? Who else would give you and your friends someone to complain about?  No one that didn't make you want to hurl.

Sincerely,

Yunji Kim