Dear Yunji,

I don't know what to do for Halloween.  I just don't have time to make an elaborate costume this year.  I have a lot of deadlines coming up, and I'm behind on my class reading, but I still want to look good at the SBA Halloween Party!  What costume should I wear?

Yours Truly,

Distressed in Dupont

Dear Distressed,

I am afraid it's been of those weeks where I can only speak in terms of obvious metaphors and punctuate my thoughts with bad existential tidbits.  I think yours is the most common problem neurotic adults (a.k.a. most law students) face.  Every morning when we go to school, every time we go to parties, and on every date that goes well, we ask ourselves, "What mask should I put on?"

We've already gone through the period of "finding ourselves" in college.  Ourselves being found, our main concern now is hiding these selves as best we can.  How do we mask the utter terror of being called on in class, and the debilitating anxiety of unemployment?  How do we keep from revealing that tearful, nervous type of crazy that swells up within whenever an attractive person stands in front of us?

Finding a costume for your personality is difficult, and I have no words to help you.  On a more practical note, don't worry too much about the Halloween costume.  If you're a guy, wear a sports jersey and be your favorite sportsman.  If you're a girl, wear an appropriately revealing dress with a costume accessory (hair band with animal ears or devil horns, a fancy mask - depending on the dress, it probably won't matter).  True, people may stare and tongues may wag.  But remember, malicious gossip is fleeting.  Booty-ful pictures are forever.

Happy Halloween!

Yunji