By a trick of fate it turned out that it was somewhat cheaper for me to utilize Amtrak for my holiday travel plans.  And so it came to pass that, over the span of two weeks, I traveled by train from D.C. to Grand Rapids, Michigan (via Chicago), from Grand Rapids to New Orleans (again via Chicago), and from New Orleans back to D.C.  I personally was excited about these arrangements, although I couldn't say why, exactly.  True, it happened to be less expensive, but beyond that, my best guess for my enthusiasm was that, when I was 3, my family took the train from Minnesota to New Jersey, and so there was some sort of relating-back-to-a-formative-experience-thing going on.  But then again, my main memory of that trip was that a bum gave me a tennis ball in Chicago's Union Station.

In any event, I am happy to report to you that my enthusiasm was more than borne out by the actual experience, and I will now strongly consider taking the train even if it is more expensive than flying.  I acknowledge that the train suffers from the drawback of being slow, compared to air travel, but I submit that the following factors go some way to outweighing that downside.  Consider:

1. Departures.  Okay, Amtrak has a reputation for running late.  And, indeed, my D.C.-to-Chicago train was delayed by about 8 hours.  However, this was due to the largest blizzard to hit the District in living memory.  You remember that one-it led to all sorts of slipping and falling as you left Brass Monkey after the end of the semester party.  Anyway, despite all that snow and the lengthy delay, THE TRAIN STILL LEFT.  As many of you are aware, there weren't any planes leaving any airports in the region that fateful Saturday.  Amtrak 1, airlines 0.

2. Transparency.  So, there was that 8 hour delay in leaving for Chicago that I mentioned.  Such things are always frustrating, but the Amtrak people did a good job of indicating what was going on, even if the answer was "we're waiting for equipment to arrive before your train can leave.  We have no idea when that equipment will arrive or when your train will leave."  That may not be the most helpful answer, but it's more than what the airlines will tell you.  On the train itself, the conductors similarly were up front about having no idea whether our connecting trains would be held for us.  At least they were honest.

3. Communications.  When your plane gets put in a holding pattern, can you call your parents to tell them your arrival time is changing?  Can you call them to offer your opinion of the airline food?  Can you call them just west of Cleveland to describe how picturesque Lake Erie looks in snow?  No, you cannot.  Guess what you can do from the train (unless you happen to be passing through the remotest areas of Alabama and/or Georgia)?

4. The Dining Car.  Oh yeah, I went there.  Twice.  The first time was for breakfast somewhere between Memphis and New Orleans; I had the Chef's Good Morning Special ($8), a vegetarian quiche that came with orange juice and roasted potatoes, plus a side of pork sausage ($1.50).  The second time was for dinner just to the west of Atlanta.  I selected the Chef's Marketplace Dinner Special ($16.75), which on that night was crawfish etouffe, accompanied by a side salad and a warm dinner roll.  Although these meals were served on paper plates (sturdy paper plates, at that), both were actually quite tasty.  My dining companions near Atlanta commented that the Garlic Butter Flat Iron Steak ($22.50) was pretty solid, too.  My only complaint was that the quiche was so hot I burned all of the skin off of the left half of the roof of my mouth and spent the next week in constant pain.  But that was mostly my own fault for not blowing on it first.

5. The Observation Car.  This was the best part of taking the train.  Every train has some sort of lounge area where you can just hang out.  Usually there's a snack counter nearby with snacks, including inexpensive booze.  You might choose to do a little pleasure reading while sipping a glass of wine or you might play some D&D on your PC (um...), but more likely than not you'll end up talking about immigration reform with a guy named Rob who belongs to a motorcycle gang for veterans.  Or you'll talk about Louis L'Amour's literary corpus with two Mennonites who were doing flood cleanup in Georgia.  Or you'll talk about Lil' Wayne's investment portfolio with an aspiring naval psychologist and hip-hop producer from Detroit.  At some point during one of these conversations, you'll reflect on the fact this sort of thing rarely happens where other modes of cross-country travel are involved.  Which, if you think about it, is too bad, because if you're going to be confined in a small space with two hundred other people for several hours, you might as well have a drink with some of them.  Doing so makes the traveling part of the vacation, rather than the thing you have to do to get to the vacation.

Out of four possible sweet classic train names, traveling on Amtrak gets four (specifically Capitol Limited, Pere Marquette, City of New Orleans, and Crescent).

Next time: Absinthe Odyssey '09!